I AM ENOUGH

You are enough, not because you did or thought or bought or said or became or created something special, but because you always were.

The irony of writing a piece on self-love is not lost on me. It has been a year since it appeared on my list of priorities and I can feel it. I am cranky, anxious and life feels like a struggle in the constant surge of the new normal.

On the positive side, I know what I need to do to get back on an even keel. That wasn’t always the case.

About a year ago, I had a horrible realization. Every day I write a to do list; priorities, tasks, life administration. My own needs were not last on the list, they were not even on the list.

It is the reality for a lot of us, we prioritize everything and everyone but ourselves. This is where the practice of self-love, self-compassion and self-care come in.

The simple definition of self-love is “regard for one’s own well-being and happiness”. Achieving it is about creating daily habits that nurture you.

I have not always felt enough, this you know by now from what I was like a year ago but after I had my sparkling realization I started following the podcast series by Marisa Peer. In one of her podcast she says “I Am Enough - that simple phrase repeated over and over (both out loud and in your head) will eventually make it difficult for your mind to object to it.”

I can incontestably say that I feel this change and it feels good to me to know that I am enough and that I always have been.

Going back to times I didn’t feel the same, I am sure many of you feel, this feeling of not being enough made me give control of important aspects in my life to people who shouldn’t have anything to do with it, and now when I look back I know that wasn’t the right thing for me to do to myself, I didn’t deserve it.

I soon realized identifying the practices that make me feel cherished is now a priority

The first step for me was to look at the unfulfilled goals on my list. “Start painting illustrations and write daily” kept cropping up, yet I didn’t have the time (or make the time) to do it. I had to find a way to do this that fitted in with my life.

Next, I walked down my 23 years of my life and if you do so too, you will see if there is one thing that contributes to feelings of failure, it is unmet goals.

I looked at my life and schedule; I just had gotten my first job, I had an hour or two of commute and I have no desire to get up at 5 AM to squeeze in an hour of self-love.

The answer to this for me was writing about just anything on the commute to and fro to work, listening to audio books (which I definitely never though was something I would enjoy) on my workout sessions rather than music (I realize that I had combined my self-love time with a practical task but hey, it works, and you will never know unless you give it a chance).

Once I starts this I had enough time to paint and illustrate and also enough time to scroll the social media to not be left behind in that aspect of my life.

I have heard many people preach about the key to entrepreneurial success and one sure thing was something my dad said, he said “many talk about having good habits”, in his view the first thing we have to do is learn to form habits. This is something I had a hunch I was doing wrong.

Okay before I go further I need you to know, “It takes 21 days to build a habit” – this nooo~ not so true, in my experience it takes exactly 21 days to break through it. What I am trying to say is to form a habit plan your goals to last for a longer time and not 21 days, make it 100 days, if that’s too much go with 99 but no less.

As of today #selflove on Instagram has 48.8 million hits and a year back it was nearly 25 million. I thought, “Is this just one more thing that I am failing at?” (That thought is the anthises of self-love). It is important to tune in to your inner voice. What story are you telling yourself? We often focus on lack – lack of money, lack of time, lack of love. Train yourself to focus on the abundance in your life. Practicing mindfulness and gratitude are key factors in feeling a sense of contentment with your life and yourself.

Next is I need you to know “Comparison” , don’t do that, for all I know if you compare yourself to others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser human than yourself.

You know that feeling you get when reading about a successful woman who gets up at 5 AM to journal followed by the gym and a green smoothie? The feeling is failure. I had this horrible feeling but a great insight I read about this woman living a magnificent life, going to the beach every morning to practice yoga and meditation before work? This is the person I aspire to be, but it is not a daily reality. We all put the best version of ourselves out into the world. Look at social media. How many photos are there on social media about a fat kid being harassed for wearing what they wanted to wear while persuading everyone around them to not judge him/her on their looks and that they have more to them than what on the surface.

Ask yourself: Am I doing my best, with the resources I have available to me right now? Shifting your focus to honoring yourself and what you want and need in your life is much more productive than comparing yourself to others.

Self-love is a journey. It’s the gentle, daily work of building a loving relationship with yourself. Start by telling yourself every single day; “I am enough.”

A flower never thinks it’s not enough, if they did we wouldn’t have all these pretty gardens around us. - KOMAL

-Komal <3

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(find me on Instagram @outlandish_humor and the below art is by me referenced a google image :* , you can find my art page on Instagram @komalbhowsinka)

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